Sensitive singer-songwriter sitting upon “nature”.

This is how long ago 1981 was. Cigarettes cost 75 cents a pack. Quaaludes were on the verge of extinction and cost 3 to 10 dollars a pop. An ounce of Mexican marijuana was 40 dollars, a good third of it was composed of seeds, stems and little pebbles. By the way, this is where the term dime bag originated. One quarter of an ounce equaled 10 dollars, and it was packaged in either a plastic film canister or a small palm-sized manila envelope. The ratio of seeds, stems and little pebbles was 1:1. A considerable rip off, but one does what one does when you’re jonesing THC. Concert tickets were 7 dollars. A two-record set was $14.98 list price, which meant you could get it on sale for $8.99 to $10.99 if you were thrifty.

On the flip side, Dan Fogelberg was 30 years old and playing a sold-out concert at The Assembly Hall in Champaign-Urbana. It was a homecoming of sorts, in that he once attended U of I and dropped out soon after. Fogelberg was enjoying the success of his double album, The Innocent Age. “Run For The Roses”, “Another Auld Lang Syne”, “Leader Of The Band”, and “Hard To Say” charted on the radio. He had no idea that he had only 26 years of life left.

I learned the hard way that marijuana, liquor, Quaaludes and Dan Fogelberg do not mix. It is the worst combination a young adult could go through. Thank God I was not operating heavy machinery. Long story short, I fell asleep after the first song, and did not wake up until the encore. There is nothing like waking up amidst a dark concert hall only lit with hundreds of Bic lighters® and applause. Fogelberg closed with “Another Auld Lang Syne”, I nodded off again.

Dan Fogelberger

/Dan/ /Fō/gəl/bər/gər/

proper noun

specialty hamburger composed of only the most sensitive ingredients

synonyms: petite loaf, Suzanne Veganburger, Bono-nonsense sausage

“A common Dan Fogelberger consists of grass-fed beef, Pecorino Romano cheese, local grown artisan vegetables grown in complete silence and a dollop of hummus.”

“Not Dan Fogelberg, but James D. Watson, an older sensitive fellow.”

“If that Dan Fogelberger was any more sensitive and affected, it would be Jeff Goldblum.”

#JamesBrownCouldFlattenFogelbergInLessThanTwoMinutes