I love music so much. I truly hate music. This is not a paradox. It is simply fact. It is passion without being blind or oblivious. I don’t want to be an emotionalist, but love and those types of emotions are always misleading and full of idiot juice. Hate is more informed. The opposite of blind love is blind rage, not blind hate. This just in from Alex Jones, “Ray Charles was only blind for sympathy!”
The Persuaders had their shit caps on right when they sang, “It’s 5 o’clock in the morning, you don’t give it a thought. It’s a thin line between love and hate. It’s a thin line between love and hate. It’s a thin line between love and hate. It’s a thin line between love and hate.”
If you read this without knowing me, you walk away with two things: 1) I’m a cantankerous old man destined to complain about the constant rash from adult diapers. (It is true, I am.) 2) I have a working knowledge of pop culture. 3) My counting skills are sketchy. 4) I am bad at editing song quotations.
One day, I will love “We Didn’t Start The Fire” by Billy Joel, and the next day I will hate it. I will always hate “Head Over Heels” by Tears For Fears, and the next day I will hate it more. I will always love “So What” by Miles Davis. This ethos is steadfast.
It is difficult to be indifferent about music. I save those feelings for people I know and hockey teams.
Speaking of indifference. For every Ariana Grande, there are three Demi Lovato’s and one and a half Justin Bieber’s. I categorize this genre as the Disney pop star robot factory. It is not that different from Scientology. Teenyboppers with raw talent are brainwashed and become safe likable faces on sit-coms, which are only sit-coms because of the canned laughter; otherwise it is after-school high school voluntary improv theater consisting of students kicked out of band and debate teams. And then you become Miley Cyrus.
In this case, my indifference for the Disney pop star robots is really a form of hate. I am disgusted by corporate decisions that dictate what is going to be popular. I get it. Adults are stupid, and their children are ignorant. Disney knows what they want to buy. Rinse and repeat.
Only time and history sifts out the good from the shinola. I am just beginning to piece together the dreck of the ‘90s.
One day, I will love “MMMBop” by Hanson, and the next day I will hate it. I will always hate “Barbie Girl” by Aqua, and the next day I will hate it more. I will always love “All Star” by Smashmouth. Amen.