Both Sides Now: The Defense Of A Traitorous Coward

Trump Bad

“Frankly, what I really meant was this: I’m going to put up the best, the most beautiful Trump Towers up in Moscow. It will be unbelievable. Better than the wall, trust me.”

We are witnessing the greatest debacle of America’s history unraveling before our very eyes. Of course, I am talking about that odd pompadour-style do atop current president of the United States, himself, “Dippity Don’t” Donald Trump. What was that? Seriously, is this the hair we wear these days when attending a Helsinki Summit? Was this supposed to be some kind of show of strength over the lack of hair of your boss-hope-to-be-buddy, ex-KGB, Russian dictator, Vladimir “Invalid” Putin? If so, better luck next time. Propecia™-generated hair is never a symbol of strength. It is like bringing your mother’s balls to a knife fight. It’s gross, and mostly stupid.

Continue reading


All Apologies


As the tension builds, to avoid violence and abuse, here are my apologies and excuses. As the tension builds, to avoid violence and abuse, here are my apologies and excuses.

I would like to apologize for my attack on Thompson Twins yesterday. It was unjust and cowardly. In these post-Charlottesville days, it is too easy to forget that celebrities have innocent families that have nothing to do with the artless tripe created. I would like to clarify that I have no hard feelings against their offspring, only their fucking ancestors who begat them.

Continue reading


Petty - Nicks - Twins
My disdain for Thompson Twins began on September 24, 1982. I was at the Aragon Ballroom to see Joe Jackson on the Night And Day tour. As the anticipation grew, the lights went down, and Thompson Twins took the stage. I was horrified as three stupid “new wave” haircuts began to prance around, out of sync on stage with tambourines and cowbells while a live band accompanied them from behind a screen. As they played on, I hoped that someone would pelt them into unconsciousness, anything to stop this ridiculous posturing. Thank God, Joe Jackson’s set washed that horrible taste out of my mouth.

Continue reading

Fighting Fire With Ire

Piss me off once, shame on you. Piss me off twice, shame on me. Piss me off a thousand times… I must be talking about current president of the United (Not really) States, Dummkopf, or Dumbhead, Donald Trump. I think it is only fair to retaliate in kind. If I can anger that asswipe-wannabe (See what I did there? I’m implying that he’s not even good enough to be an asswipe.) a fraction as much as he’s done to me, I’m good.

Trump yelling at lawn mowing kid

Trump doing what he does best: annoying an American.

Continue reading