Of Course, This Happened


In times of normalcy, the slap and the following consequences seen around the world, except North America, would be so out of the ordinary our heads would be spinning well into next month. But in our current stance of bat shit crazy, the real concern is: What took so long?

I don’t think I’ve ever said anything this truthful in my entire adult life: Celebrity behavior is outrageous.

Back in the day, December 13, 2017, I mini-ranted on the topic of Jada Pinkett Smith’s obsessive pursuit of the “award”. It was abhorrent then, more so today.

There are at least four ways to increase your chances to earn the Best Actor Academy Award. You can earn it old school by being a damn good actor.

Let’s face it, it’s the 21st century and that’s not going to happen. You can have your agent find you a good role in which you can be handicapped; be gay; be mean and angry, possibly racist; be mentally special; be the nationality of the month or be a combination of any of these traits.

Four years and some months later, congratulations to the Smith family for finding the formula.

It is sad that the Smith family cannot find happiness with their wealth and fame. It is because they no longer perceive themselves through real eyes. Their vision is tainted with opulence and Scientology. They have built a house of lies on a house of wet cards.

I suppose at a certain point, Will Smith starts to thinking out loud: “Okay, I have an Emmy. Who doesn’t? That’s right, DJ Jazzy Jeff doesn’t. Ha! A Grammy… so how do I get the Oscar and Tony?”

Jada responds, “We will petition and rattle our jewelry until we are fully recognized.”

To which, Will responds, “Yeah.”

I am old enough to remember a self-proclaimed billionaire who was really, at best, a padded thousandaire on a good day, who found himself at a major crossroad. Continue the descent of a reality-tv career or become the President of the United States of America.

The ultimate question is why did this happen? Is this an event set forward by the Orange Fatwad? Why does this all seem so normal? Why are we not surprised by this? The answer is simpler than it needs to be. It is because Will and Jada Pinkett Smith are assholes.

Will Smith received 40 million dollars to make the movie “King Richard”.

They’re There


“I can assure you that there will be no there, there. That is to say, on the other side of life, after our flesh is consumed by worms and such, no one will be there to soothe us by saying there, there while patting us on the back.”

Since the White House has turned into a full-blown reality television show, I have been glued to the fake lying media. In particular, I have become a fan of the “The 11th Hour With Brian Williams.”

Brian Williams, not to be confused with the Chicago Bull basketball player who died mysteriously in a boating incident, his actual name was Bison Dele, was the trusted anchorman of the “NBC Nightly News.” Emphasis on ‘was’ due to his misrepresentation of events, which occurred while covering the Iraq War in 2003.

All of this is merely a preamble to the point at hand, when did the news start talking as if their audience were morons?

Whether it be the repetitive terms like gaslighting, optics, or drip drip drip, one has to wonder: are they dumbing down, or are we, as a cultural society, dumbing up? Worse, does it even matter anymore? And now, my impersonation of my favorite celebrity…

Continue reading

How We Do


Every time you drive on the highway, you run the risk of getting shot dead in a drive-by. The same is true when walking down the street. The lesson gleaned: stay inside and avoid falling down.

“Oh wow,” were Dr. Eggs Benedict’s final words after realizing the ketchup stain on his shirt began to gush blood. It was one of those stray bullets from a highway drive by. What were the odds of it hitting the stain? Seriously. Instinctively, he turned up the radio.

Continue reading

Better Sorry Than Safe


How now unibrow?

Everyone called him Bert; when in actuality, his name was George. He had an intense unibrow, an exaggerated orange oval nose, a tuft of black hair atop his head, and yellow skin. To offset his rather oblong face, he always wore a vertical striped shirt, which also had a slimming effect.

Continue reading