Initially, I was going to write a rant about stupid Trump and his prime time State Of The Union collective of words, in which he attempted to coerce Americans that a crisis of heart and soul, the likes of which no one has ever seen before composed of coyotes and gangs was upon us. Women and children will most likely become victims of uncontrolled illegal immigration. Worse, he subjected us to his ugly puss in a slow zoom close up. What the fuck was wrong with his squinty eyes? Uneven Botox® injections? Conjunctivitis is so 1990. And what was up with that insane breathing? If history repeats itself, in the case of Trump “the ignorant redundancy loop”, he was saying something he didn’t want to say. In short, this silly spectacle did not win over new Trump supporters. If he said sensible gun control in place of border wall, he would have. And now we return to The Grown-Ass Man, already in progress.
As many of you are aware, my idea of relevance is releasing an explosive fart just before the grunt at the end of Santana’s “Oye Como Va”; and that song is 48 years old, and only God knows when the fart originated. Whatever. It’s always funny to me. When it comes to being topical, I am a mere rube. But, with all this current news™ swirling all around me, I reach out and try to connect, but come up empty handed. It could be because there are just too many news points. Gun control, or guntrol as the lazy pundits call it, the Russian probe, DACA, Florida, always Florida, the me too movement, Nazis, domestic abuse, tax reform, the clone of Reverend Al Sharpton, This Is Us®, The Winter Olympics, and that doesn’t even include natural disasters like North Korea.