They’re There

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“I can assure you that there will be no there, there. That is to say, on the other side of life, after our flesh is consumed by worms and such, no one will be there to soothe us by saying there, there while patting us on the back.”

Since the White House has turned into a full-blown reality television show, I have been glued to the fake lying media. In particular, I have become a fan of the “The 11th Hour With Brian Williams.”

Brian Williams, not to be confused with the Chicago Bull basketball player who died mysteriously in a boating incident, his actual name was Bison Dele, was the trusted anchorman of the “NBC Nightly News.” Emphasis on ‘was’ due to his misrepresentation of events, which occurred while covering the Iraq War in 2003.

All of this is merely a preamble to the point at hand, when did the news start talking as if their audience were morons?

Whether it be the repetitive terms like gaslighting, optics, or drip drip drip, one has to wonder: are they dumbing down, or are we, as a cultural society, dumbing up? Worse, does it even matter anymore? And now, my impersonation of my favorite celebrity…

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The Grown-Ass Man

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Perhaps the greatest grown-ass man ever in American history, 13th U.S. President, Millard Fillmore. The following story proves that the grown-ass man comes in many flavors.

Initially, I was going to write a rant about stupid Trump and his prime time State Of The Union collective of words, in which he attempted to coerce Americans that a crisis of heart and soul, the likes of which no one has ever seen before composed of coyotes and gangs was upon us. Women and children will most likely become victims of uncontrolled illegal immigration. Worse, he subjected us to his ugly puss in a slow zoom close up. What the fuck was wrong with his squinty eyes? Uneven Botox® injections? Conjunctivitis is so 1990. And what was up with that insane breathing? If history repeats itself, in the case of Trump “the ignorant redundancy loop”, he was saying something he didn’t want to say. In short, this silly spectacle did not win over new Trump supporters. If he said sensible gun control in place of border wall, he would have. And now we return to The Grown-Ass Man, already in progress.

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Fake News Is Good News

 

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An unlikely outcome, yet pleasing to those who have a soul. Image Source

As many of you are aware, my idea of relevance is releasing an explosive fart just before the grunt at the end of Santana’s “Oye Como Va”; and that song is 48 years old, and only God knows when the fart originated. Whatever. It’s always funny to me. When it comes to being topical, I am a mere rube. But, with all this current news™ swirling all around me, I reach out and try to connect, but come up empty handed. It could be because there are just too many news points. Gun control, or guntrol as the lazy pundits call it, the Russian probe, DACA, Florida, always Florida, the me too movement, Nazis, domestic abuse, tax reform, the clone of Reverend Al Sharpton, This Is Us®, The Winter Olympics, and that doesn’t even include natural disasters like North Korea.

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