A lonely trombone player wandered further from home than he had planned, and darkness was approaching. To further complicate his simple existence, he was lost in the middle of the forest. He was uncertain of what to do. Proceed forward into the unknown? Attempt to backtrack home? Being primarily a trombonist, he thought like one. These options were ridiculous. Conveniently, having a trombone on his person, he thought it more appropriate to play a tune. But what? There are so many melodies to chose from.
Previously: Janeane Garofalo betrayed Mark Ruffalo by taking a secret meeting with Jimmy Garoppolo of the San Francisco 49ers. Meanwhile, McGruff took a bite out of crime and arrested a Juggalo gang in an abandoned bungalow. Kathryn Bigelow, the film director and not the well-known party planner, wants to make a movie called Bigelow Presents: McGruff, Garofalo, Garoppolo & Ruffalo™. And now:
This is awkward. Today marks my one-year anniversary as a daily blogger. I had grand plans of writing the best thing using the best words, sentences and what not. I was going to talk about how blogging saved my life, and how it may have changed the fate of an alternate universe. In short, there is another world similar to ours, but not, where laurel is still laurel and there is no such thing as a yanny, not even that Greek mystical new ager instrumentalist. I have a sinking feeling that the quality of life might be nicer there.
Before I talk about how narcissism is slowly destroying our society, I would like to talk about what makes me better than most of the world.