That Ain’t No Diphthong, It’s Diphtheria!

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Not only is diphtheria a serious bacterial infection, there is a migrant caravan heading our way through the southern borders. We can never let diphtheria become a citizen. Never!

The results were unquestionable, even conclusive. Roman Moranski had full blown diphtheria. He was far from happy upon hearing these results, but it was nothing compared to Dr. Patel’s wrath. She obsessed over the inconvenience and cost of the decontamination process alone. And don’t you dare get her started on how this would mess up her brand new aquarium filled with the rarest most expensive tropical fish for the waiting room.

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Hapless

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“It is with utmost regret that we are gathered here today. I’m not sure who said these wise words, but it is most fitting. There is nothing sadder than a parent having to bury their child, especially if the child is not yet dead.”

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The Only Thing You Need To Know Is This

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Potentially the greatest weapon known to mankind.

It was her yoga mat. In a very general way, you could accuse Emma Hopkins for being a clean person, although one could easily disperse such thoughts by getting a good whiff of the atrocious rolled up foam rubber tucked under her arm. In a world where everything is under a constant magnifying glass, you would see her armpit scream vomiting.

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