Days Of Disney


Embarrassing story, true. When I was a kid, I was into Minnie Mouse, like really into her, until someone pointed out that if you take away the lashes, bow, and dress, she is actually Mickey Mouse, and ultimately a mouse. The harsh truth made me puke for three straight days. I still puke a little just thinking about it.

Minnie Mouse was done, as in she was absolutely fed up with this shit, all this shit. It is fortunate that she was unarmed, otherwise, she’d be surrounded by freshly shot corpses.

Her eyes were bloodshot. The thick veins obscured her pupils. You would think this is why she avoided sunlight, but the real reason was, it made her look eight to nine years older. She was fully conscious of how her flaring nostrils revealed a murder of crows’ feet around her eyes. Vanity has its price.

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Doing Lunch

grim reaper chess

Many believe that if you avoid the grim reaper, you could live like “Fame,” as in “I’m gonna live forever.”

At the risk of inappropriate heavy handed foreshadowing, Deathy McDeatherman was attempting to eat a very dry ham sandwich on almost stale white bread. It was, as expected, bland. It needed something, a chicken taco. He took a long sip of overly carbonated cola through a soggy paper straw. He almost snorted something out of his nose, something big enough to have killed him. If he had known the imminent death he avoided, he would be grateful, instead he was merely annoyed and hungry for something else.

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Off The Cuff


I am you as you are me and me am you and me and you make we, or them depending on which side of the bed you fall out of.

The new Anita Mann was in full swing. Gone was her old scripted stodgy self, and in was her new spontaneous and youthful self. No one had the heart to tell her it sucked, so she went with it, full on.

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That’s Tough


If Andy Capp and Flo were real, one or both of them would surely be dead from unnatural causes.

Looking at Peter Dixon, you would never be able to tell that he had just committed the perfect crime. His poker face was so good that you saw a shadow of a man showing the appropriate amount of sadness one would feel after the death of his wife.

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