The Banana And The Cow

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In an alternate universe, the punchline is Gas Grass Or Ass, Nobody Rides For Free. 

The banana was furious in thought. He was terrifically annoyed by an earworm. It was stuck, but good. It was slowly driving him insane. This will certainly be the last time he would go to Bed, Bath And Beyond®. They should warn you if they are going to pipe in that sort of music. Besides, the banana had just figured out that ‘beyond’ really means merchandise that doesn’t sell at T.J. Maxx®.

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The Starving Village And The Questionable Provider

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“Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert! You are all about to die!”

The tiny village was in complete disarray. First, the peaceful villagers were overtaken by pillaging Huns, and let me tell you, these Huns were total dicks, they took all their food and women, leaving behind a tragic hungry sausage population. Second, nature, in the form of an unsympathetic typhoon devastated their homes. Finally, third, they were dimwitted.

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The Tortoise and The Hare: A Snippet of a Fable

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Artist’s rendering of a different race.

The tortoise crossed the finish line, winning the big race, in perhaps, the greatest upset of all time, excluding the ’85 Chicago Bears loss to the Washington Generals. It was debauchery to the nth degree, yet pure digression.

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The Bird and The Wolf

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Only two animals were harmed during the making of this picture.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two baby birds were screaming bloody murder from their nest high up in the tree. It was a mess, embryonic goo and eggshells all over the place. It smelled pretty funky too, dried twigs and bird droppings. One unhatched egg sat between them. [SAD STORY, SPOILER ALERT: That egg is never going to hatch, which is sad. It could’ve been the bird that saved humanity as we know it.]

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