The weary traveler approached a fork in the road. For the last hour, he had been contemplating this tremendous decision. It had taken a toll on his health. He hated making choices. To complicate matters, one path led to certain painful death, while the other to safe passage.
The banana was furious in thought. He was terrifically annoyed by an earworm. It was stuck, but good. It was slowly driving him insane. This will certainly be the last time he would go to Bed, Bath And Beyond®. They should warn you if they are going to pipe in that sort of music. Besides, the banana had just figured out that ‘beyond’ really means merchandise that doesn’t sell at T.J. Maxx®.
The tiny village was in complete disarray. First, the peaceful villagers were overtaken by pillaging Huns, and let me tell you, these Huns were total dicks, they took all their food and women, leaving behind a tragic hungry sausage population. Second, nature, in the form of an unsympathetic typhoon devastated their homes. Finally, third, they were dimwitted.
The tortoise crossed the finish line, winning the big race, in perhaps, the greatest upset of all time, excluding the ’85 Chicago Bears loss to the Washington Generals. It was debauchery to the nth degree, yet pure digression.