After countless years of being told how inefficient he was by his boss, and especially his wife of 17 years, Blaine Edwards was sufficiently convinced. He decided he would show them what was what, and became the most inefficient man they or anyone had ever seen.
Funny story, true. I’m taking out the trash last Thursday night, you know, around eight, right between Little Sheldon® and Moms®, and I see, get this, I see The Oaf® and Talisman® getting all up into it. You know, those two newbie superheroes wearing all that spandex, gold and glitter. Right over there, in front of that driveway. And, they’re cussing up a storm. I swear, it was all fuck this and fuck that shit and you ain’t shit without me and your mother’s a fucking idiot and you and what fucking shit-ass army.
Cro-Magnon Man looked upon his peers, 2,000 or so superheroes crammed into a make shift clubhouse, previously a cave. He squinted, which created a furrow across his abnormally large forehead. It was far from attractive. He saw a sea of multi-colored spandex, masks, metals and weaponry. He took a deep breath before calling order. He announced, “It is an honor to stand… before all of you. May you fill with pride… for you are committed… to preserving… the royal order of justice…let us recite our oath.” He bowed his head.
As one unified voice, the heroes solemnly swore, “If and when a hero goes down, we are prepared with complete heart and sound mind to replace said hero with 100% commitment. If necessary, with our lives. Gulp. Justice for all. Amen.”