What If Stan Lee Still Wrote Stan’s Soapbox In 2018?

uatu_the_watcher
I am Uatu. I am the Watcher. As my name implies, I watch. Since time out of mind, I have observed the rise and fall of civilizations of worlds—of galaxies. I know all that is – most that has been and much of what will be. Yet, I watch, never interfering. To do so would be to step on the Interferer’s duties, and as any civil person knows, never mess with another’s duty. Another word of advice, never look at Uranus too long.

I have also many windows into the strange parallel worlds of what might have been. For, none save a watcher, me, can truly know what could have happened. But for the invisible workings of an incomprehensible fate! For instance…

What if Stan Lee still wrote Stan’s Soapbox in 2018?

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The Origin Of Thoughts And Prayers

GetOutOfJailFreeCards

Why did the rich guy fire 10% of his work force? Because he could afford to.

Like most impotent paradigms and empathy short cuts, the expression ‘thoughts and prayers’ was born from a congregation of old white wealthy elites with more money than they needed. Especially detached from sweat, blisters and all else that reeks of a day of honest work. It was the worst case scenario of unchecked privilege and greed gathered in one place, all nickel and diming their way to millions, then billions, leaving their dog shit footprints on the back of those less fortunate, crushing the weak, infuriating the survivors. This was the lugubrious collective known as the one percent. It smelled like dust, mold and spiderwebs.

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Whole Lotta Shakespeare Goin’ On

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The third most over-rated person after Bono and Sofia Vergara.

William Shakespeare stopped writing. He had to. He dipped his quill in the ink jar and looked up to the heavens. It was the day he feared most. He had officially made acquaintances with the dreaded writer’s block. He muttered, “So this be the feeling of emptiness.”

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Revelry

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The origin of “dilly dilly” can be traced to Norse gods and bears.

Magno-Man lifted his stein of the hoppiest ale and bellowed, “For the past fortnight, I waged war and defeated the Malevolent Eleven on the planet Bleek. In thus doing so, I saved two galaxies!” There was no doubt his story was true, for his unitard was tattered and he reeked appropriately for one not showering for two weeks.

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