It was extravagant, bordering on excessive, but there would be no argument, it was much deserved. For the first time ever, the world experienced fifty straight days of peace thanks to the efforts of every single superhero. The acting leader, Party Girl was quick to suggest a celebration. Cautious Kid wanted to interject, but honorary superhero, Smokey Robinson, was first to blurt out as well as sing in that distinctive ultra tenor, “I second that motion, baby.”
In your puny universe, a very young Bruce Wayne witnessed his father, and especially his mother get shot down by a hoodlum, by the name of Joe Chill in Gotham City’s Crime Alley. On that fateful day, a boy also died, and a vengeful man was born, and he would become The Batman.
While his intentions were true, he inadvertently turned the city he’d sworn to protect more dangerous. The presence of The Batman inspired nutcases to come out of the woodworks to commit outrageous crimes just to become famous. Being a criminal in Gotham was not much different than being a contestant on The Voice or American Idol. But this is your asinine reality.
Jak-el and Burro, prominent Kraptonian mega-scientists, who were also married to each other, feared this day would come, but not this soon. They weren’t ready. They only had time to build one small prototype of a rocket to escape. If only the science council had listened to their pleas to stop drilling, instead of mocking the couple by drilling willy nilly to prove some kind of point, even the dentists. Now their planet is hopelessly vibrating itself out of existence. As they embraced, knowing their days were numbered, they turned to their baby son, Guz-el, who was sleeping soundly in what can be best described, a futuristic Ikea® crib.
Lex Luthor, Superman’s greatest nemesis, was plotting. World dominance would rightfully be his, if only he could get rid of that meddling Boy Scout Kryptonian!
Before continuing, it is peculiar, yet true that Superman’s greatest friends, enemies and things closest to him, shared the initials L.L. Lana Lang, Lois Lane, Lori Lemaris, Lightning Lad, Lancelot Link, Chicago-based DJ, Larry Lujack, actresses: Linda Lavin, Lucy Lawless, Lucy Liu, Lindsey Lohan, and college admissions scandal socialite, Lori Loughlin, lava lamps, Lincoln Logs®, Loretta Lynn, Lyle Lovett, Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes, Mexican sensation, Los Lobos, Laa-Laa of the Teletubbies, Liver Lord, Livid Lass, and the other Lex, Lex Luger.