Hammer Time!

Tool Story

An early cameo from the king of cameos: Hamburger Helper!

Ham the claw hammer, not to be confused with Ham the piggy bank, an altogether different character from another story franchise, bolted upright from slumber to the dismay of the recently purchased Nurse Ratchet Wrench. [Further proof that tool puns are ineffective.] Since the disappearance of Phillip K. Screwdriver, Ham was unable to sleep well. This was over a month ago.

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Aquaman Meets On Demand TV

Ramona Fradon Reflective Aquaman

Aquaman has a brief moment of peace before enduring horrible cinema.

Aquaman turned off the TV by throwing the remote control at it, shattering it all over the place. He had just seen the worst movie ever. Bohemian Rhapsody. It is mind blowing that within this insipid dreck of cinema, Rami Malek found room to portray Freddie Mercury respectfully. One could almost believe that Freddie Mercury was capable of saying such contrived idiocy.

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Jittery Jehoshaphat, It’s Jumping Juniper

Jumping Juniper

Superheroine Jumping Juniper is the Pauly Shore of superheroes.

As Jumping Juniper bled to death in the dirtiest alley in Hero Heights, she contemplated her current fate and found herself laughing, while convulsing and gurgling up thick blood. She did not want to die laughing, so she searched her mind for something, anything to negate the tragic comedy unfolding around her. Her choice was self-pity.

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With Great Power…

250px-Web_of_Spider-Man_Vol_1_129-1

With great power comes great responsibility. With great responsibility comes ridiculous guilt complex.

The Amazing Spider-Man returned home after a very grueling day of web-spinning, crime fighting and being chased and misunderstood by the police. He was wiped out. At last, he could be plain old Peter Parker and get some much-deserved rest. After all, with great power comes great responsibility, which includes taking care of your wellbeing. It also includes doing the dishes, but Peter Parker was far from perfect.

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