“Take The Money And Run, It’s The End Of The World As We Know It” by R.E.M. Vs. STEVE MILLER BAND

The following mash up may be the explanation for the behavior of thin-orange-skinned president of the United States himself, Donald “Dumb Dumb” Trump. It seems impossible for someone to lie so much without some sort of motivation. Any sane person might feel the tiniest bit of shame, but because he knows that it’s the end of the world, he feels fine and doesn’t care.

Who am I kidding? Regardless of the well-being of the world, this is Trump. This is how he rolls. He’s a greedy fuck face who has no compunction raping the world with his tiny hands that have never seen a day’s work. Ask anyone, he is a renowned bed wetter. Instead of remorse, he is filled with privilege. Instead of shame, he screams for his mommy. When one can rationalize the embarrassing arrested development day in and day out of waking up in a pool of urine for 72 years, the end result is Trump. When shitty behavior is ignored and cleaned up by the hired help, you are creating a monster.  This is a mind set created by the Scrooges, Mr. Potters and Dick Cheneys of this damn capitalistic world. By the way, all known bed wetters.

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Both Sides Now: The Defense Of A Traitorous Coward

Trump Bad

“Frankly, what I really meant was this: I’m going to put up the best, the most beautiful Trump Towers up in Moscow. It will be unbelievable. Better than the wall, trust me.”

We are witnessing the greatest debacle of America’s history unraveling before our very eyes. Of course, I am talking about that odd pompadour-style do atop current president of the United States, himself, “Dippity Don’t” Donald Trump. What was that? Seriously, is this the hair we wear these days when attending a Helsinki Summit? Was this supposed to be some kind of show of strength over the lack of hair of your boss-hope-to-be-buddy, ex-KGB, Russian dictator, Vladimir “Invalid” Putin? If so, better luck next time. Propecia™-generated hair is never a symbol of strength. It is like bringing your mother’s balls to a knife fight. It’s gross, and mostly stupid.

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Fighting Fire With Ire

Piss me off once, shame on you. Piss me off twice, shame on me. Piss me off a thousand times… I must be talking about current president of the United (Not really) States, Dummkopf, or Dumbhead, Donald Trump. I think it is only fair to retaliate in kind. If I can anger that asswipe-wannabe (See what I did there? I’m implying that he’s not even good enough to be an asswipe.) a fraction as much as he’s done to me, I’m good.

Trump yelling at lawn mowing kid

Trump doing what he does best: annoying an American.

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“Let’s Get It On Out The Frame” by MARVIN GAYE Vs. THE ALCHEMIST

Gaye - Alchemist

After watching highlights of the current president of the United States, “Drought-mouth” Donald Trump, speaking to his base in Montana, I was more than outraged. I have seen this tired greatest hits rant before, and the very little new material he worked in was nothing short of lame. It is apparent that he needs writers, and in turn, maybe they can help him learn a thing or two about comedic timing. “Build The Wall” will never be as funny as “How Fat Was She?”. Yet, I am ashamed to admit this, “Lock Her Up” is.

It is always a desperate act when a comedian, no less a president, goes blue. Not only was Tungsten Trump horrendous, he spewed an anti-MeToo statement and actually got laughs from his audience. That is probably the most offensive thing. If he wasn’t who he was, The Sandman from Live At The Apollo would have definitely swept him off the stage. Pathetic.

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