The Galaxy’s Guide To The Hitchhiker

Hitchhiker_in_a_forest

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, hitchhiking was commonplace.

The following is a pre-Covid 19 tale, which would explain the unsettling naiveté. The social distancing exemplified is pure happenstance and not mandated by law. Sadly, stupidity remains consistent through crisis as well as normal times.

And now:

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It Was The Worst Of Times

 

Visalia_Town_Center_Post_Office_circa_1960

In a not too distant future, you will probably find yourself explaining to a trillennial what a post office was, and the whole time while you’re trying to convey a building where mail services happen, the trillennial is actually thinking about the kissing game.

It was the Monday after Thanksgiving. It was not a good day to be waiting in a very long line at the post office. In fact, there is never a good time for waiting. Nonetheless, it was not a proper reason for what ensued.

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Food For Thought

800px-Cheeseburger

Adding cheese to the hamburger became a thing in the late-1920s to mid-1930s, adding a Chilean sea bass to the hamburger has not yet been invented.

The cheeseburger did not have a chance. Not in the hands of that hungry man. Deep down, it knew it was its own damn fault for smelling so good, and oh my God, for being so juicy. If it didn’t do something drastic, it would surely end up in that man’s mouth, and ultimately his stomach, only to be transformed into vomit or poo.

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See You Next Fall

rickety stairs

More than 1,000 people die annually from falling down stairs. To put things in perspective, 33 people have died this year from vaping.

In retrospect, Vince Ainsley should have been more conscious of retaining balance than paying so much attention to his unmatched socks, especially at the top of the unfamiliar rickety stairs. Hindsight always sounds like a know-it-all you want to punch in the damn face.

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