She Blinded Me With Christian Science


The First Church of Christ, Scientist, Christian Science Center, Boston, MA. When they say thoughts and prayers, they really mean it.

Erica Stone, Christian Scientist Extraordinaire exclaimed, “Eureka!” Her disheveled frizzy hair, runny nose, and bug eyes obscured behind thick lenses reinforced her mad doctor look. She nearly dropped a test tube filled with devotion, which in turn would have toppled over a row of test tubes labeled and filled with blind ambition and temperance. The white lab jacket draped over her small frame added a good fifteen pounds to her appearance.

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Death Be Not Loud


This hospital bed has lived a better life than 95% of North Korea. 

Lee Strauser’s eyes opened, for the first time in a week; there was clarity. Lee uttered, “Aloha,” and proceeded to die in a matter of fact fashion. Due to congenital complications, rigor mortis was setting in quicker than expected.

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Happy Go Lucky Charms

a bowl of lucky charms

Make no mistake about it, there is nothing lucky about Lucky Charms®, they should be called Slow Death Charms or Gateway To Obesity Charms.

As the words left his mouth, he knew he made a dreadful mistake, the kind that fucks you up for a long time. Matthew Marsdale tried to stop himself, but the cadence was too damn catchy. His fate was inevitable.

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