How now unibrow?

Everyone called him Bert; when in actuality, his name was George. He had an intense unibrow, an exaggerated orange oval nose, a tuft of black hair atop his head, and yellow skin. To offset his rather oblong face, he always wore a vertical striped shirt, which also had a slimming effect.

In spite of the constant ribbing, George endured. In fact, he was ecstatic this morning. It was difficult to tell because of his monobrow. He always looked like he was in brooding meditation, but what mattered was George knew how he really felt. He walked into work carrying a heavy duffel bag over his shoulder. When he set it down, there was a pronounced clank of metal striking metal.

Days later, politicians offered thoughts and prayers as if they were stale doughnuts.