You Can’t Spell Diet Without Die


Don’t be a cannibal, be a cannotibal.

This was the exact reason why we decided all those years ago that we would never consume other humans. This pile of disgusting regurgitated glop composed of the pesky neighbor and spinach is why I wished we had hardwood floors instead of carpeting. Truth be told, the guy deserved to be eaten, for looking so delicious.

In a way, it was inevitable. We probably should have seen this coming, especially after experimenting with orangutan stew. We were even properly warned that it would be the gateway into more exotic delicacies.

After burping, and trapping the burst of garlic on my tongue, I quickly changed my mind, and looked forward to Hunan human.

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