If I could find a way, my destination would be 1972. Why? Because I want to see for myself through these adult eyes if the world was really as keen/neat/cool as I remembered it as a ten-year-old.

The first thing I’d do is find me a God damn Burger King and have me the Whopper that took two hands to handle.

And since I converted my currency in the proper manner*, I would also order onion rings. If I remember correctly, it will take over 15 minutes for my order. Back then, fast food was only fast compared to slow food, which took up to 45 minutes to make, 24 hours for roast duck at Chinese restaurants. Then, I would plop my ass into a hard plastic orange, tan, and yellow seat, and place the brown tray of wax-paper wrapped food on the fake laminated wood supported by black steel bars, construct the cardboard Burger King crown, then place the ring on my head, and savor the delicious tomato of yesteryear, as well as the true flame-broil on the Whopper. Don’t even get me started on how the flame-broil gets on your burger today.

For dessert, I would find me a K-mart, a Community, or Topp’s (If’n they’re still in business in 1972), and purchase me a Blue Panasonic Toot-A-Loop AM Transistor radio, so I can hear Alone Again (Naturally) on WLS.

Of course, I’d be very cautious of what I say, for example, I couldn’t say, “It is what it is”,  or “Haters be hating”, or “dvd”, or “coolata”. Probably the hardest thing for me to avoid is humming or singing “If I Could Turn Back Time”, or that song Huey Lewis sang in “Back To The Future”.

*See So, You’re Seriously Thinking About Time Travel.