Kenny G is many things to many people. To me, he is the punchline of a style of music that has repulsed me for many years; smooth jazz.

Smooth jazz is a term invented in the late 70s for a genre of music which is in no way related to jazz, yet definitely smooth in the same way nutra-sweet is when combined with raw sugar. It belongs in a category of too excessive, yet too banal.

Here’s a fun little game; which one of the following facts is not true.

• Kenny G played golf on his high school golf team.
• Kenny G collaborated with Weezer.
• Kenny G has sold over 75 million records world wide.
• Kenny G is in the Guinness Book Of World Records for playing the longest note ever recorded on a saxophone.
• The “G” in Kenny G stands for Gorelick.
• Kenny G is good.

Which leads to a pop music definition:

Kenny G-Spot

/ken’/nē/  /jē/ /spät/

noun

The elusive, perhaps mythical pleasure zone that responds and reacts to Kenny G’s music.

“Oh my God, the way she’s wearing that Kenny G-string, she must be trying to achieve an orgasm through her Kenny G-spot.”

synonyms: Fake orgasm, Unfulfilled, Poppycock.

“I thought I was coming close to touching my Kenny G-spot, turns out it was serious gastritis.”

#JamesBrownCoolerThanKennyG, #Barely