Hoobastank and a Pop Music Daffynition


Hoobastank, or H∞bastank enjoyed moderate success in the early two thous. Their hits, or attempts, include “Crawling In The Dark”, “Running Away”, and “The Reason”. Somehow, they’ve sold 10 million albums worldwide.

I’m not sure if it’s cool to be a mediocre band with a stupid name or a stupid band with a mediocre name, i.e. Dave Matthews Band, Jimmy Buffett, Starship.




have a distinctive strong unpleasant odor of failure and cat urine

synonyms: reek of desperation, suck out loud, funkstink to high heaven

“One critic said, “Kenny G hoobastinks, in short, he hoobastank, and tomorrow he will have hoobastunk his way into the fiery depths of malodorous hell.”

“Since he went on the all-dairy diet and joined scientology, he hoobastinks like nothing you’ve ever smelled.”

#JamesBrownProbablyHatedHoobastank, #MightHaveKilledHim2006

4 thoughts on “Hoobastank and a Pop Music Daffynition

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