The Doobie Brothers and A Pop Music Daffynition

Guess which one said, “Who the fuck Caucasian-lipped this doobie?”

Contrary to popular belief, The Doobie Brothers got their name from obscure, but legendary blues singer/stomper, Ruby “Doobie” Newman. That’s not true. What I meant to say is the Doobie reference is in fact, an acronym for Drugs Or Organic Boogie In E major. Let’s be real for a moment here. Have you not listened to their music? If not, “Whoa-wo-whoa, listen to the music all the time.” There is no way these guys even know what an acronym is. Of course, their name comes from marijuana cigarettes shared amongst a “band of brothers”. They are an obvious creation of a muddled hazy brainstorm session of Panama Red, Maui Wowie and Jamaican Gold with a smidge of resonated lint and Thai stick. I would like to imagine the following occurred:

“Gross. Who the fuck Caucasian-lipped this joint?”

“This is so awesome how we can play the music of mediocrity and share the tribal reefer-stick like a clan or family.”

“Yeah… like The Doobie Brothers.”

Can you imagine the horrific angelic chorus of divine epiphany? It’s okay, me neither.

Before I progress, I would like to clarify, I am a big The Doobie Brothers fan. [FACT CHECK: I am not. My acceptance or tolerance of the band comes from a place where respect, integrity and buoyancy are not in the vocabulary.]

Like any band that has spanned five decades, band members came and went, one of the founders stopped touring on account of a bleeding ulcer, STD’s, wacky cross-dressing adventures, and Michael McDonald joins/disrupts.

1971: The Doobie Brothers get signed to Warner Brothers Records.
1972: The Doobie Brothers break through the radio playlist with “Listen To The Music” and “Jesus Is Just Alright”.
1973: The Doobie Brothers release “China Grove” and “Long Train Runnin’”.
1975: The Doobie Brothers grab the number one spot on the charts with “Black Water”.

Michael “Yoko Ono” McDonald joins The Doobie Brothers because he preferred the fine Columbian.

1976: The Doobie Brothers pick up Michael McDonald on a free-agent deal. They release “Takin’ It To The Streets” and “It Keeps You Runnin’”. [TRIVIA: “It Keeps You Runnin’” was originally written as a jingle for Ex-Lax®.]
1978: The Doobie Brothers appeared in two episodes of ABC’s What’s Happening!! Minute By Minute, the album, is dropped on an unsuspecting audience.
1979: The Doobie Brothers play at Alpine Valley Music Theater in East Troy, Wisconsin. On July 19^th, July 20^th, or July 21^st, I attended that concert event. It was the first time I got high, not to be confused with the first time I smoked the magic “jay-bone”. If memory serves me correctly, this was the first time I used the term over-rated out loud.
1980: The Doobie Brothers increase their ranks with the inclusion of Scrappy-Doo and Oliver of The Brady Bunch. Later in the year, they would jump the shark, when Ronald Reagan sings background harmonies at Republican convention. [FACT CHECK: 1980 never happened. If you recall, it was a skip year.]

Scooby-Doobie Brothers

/Skoo/bee/Doo/bee `Brə/thərz

noun

contrived formulaic idiocy that is unwittingly popular

synonyms: Mister Mister Biggie Smalls, Eurasia: The Super Super-Group combining surviving members of Asia and Europe, The Amazing Spider-Man From U.N.C.L.E.

“I could not help but take it personally when the construction foreman called my work performance Scooby-Doobie Brothers-ish.”