Liz didn’t give a dingdong about rules. Rules were for sheep and suckers. Rules were just another pair of unworn jeans that cinched in all the wrong places, and hung loose in all the worst places. She was tired of being offended by children pointing at her, asking why she had a tail. Fact of the matter, she had a larger than usual tailbone, which made her very self-conscious. Besides, children are mean assholes.

Liz knew this very well. She clung to her childhood for as long as she could. She will proudly tell you about her 32 years of not being an adult. The truth is; it was 36 years. Funny, true, she is 35.

Everything about her was meager, except for her attitude. You can tell a lot about a person by the contents of their refrigerator. Hers was bare except for a five year old box of baking powder, and a half bottle of Schweppes Ginger Ale®.

Meager