Sick Tales Of Ichthyology


The other school shooting.

As far as catfish went, Renfroe was, hands down, ugly, uglier, ugliest. Please do not get me started, but when it was born, the rest of the fish invented a shared language so they could talk about enforced abortion. To put things into context, it was the only word all fish could agree on.

Even in the shallowest water, Renfroe drew great indifference from the gaze of hovering starving cats. It is highly improbable that the taste of Renfroe would ever be likened to chicken or alligator, but instead, refried poo and vomit from people with horrible diets, like that woman who subsisted solely on lamb jerky and Pixy Stix®, or that guy on Oreo Cookies®, day-old skim almond milk and heroin.

Ask anyone, but beings with these afflictions find themselves ostracized and shunned leading to a lonely existence. From that isolated place, it is easy to become an obsessed bitter fish, cataloging a bucket list of revenge against society. It is very fortunate and sane that the fish had strict gun regulation laws, otherwise Renfroe might have went all “Columbine” on their pathetic fish holes.

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