No disrespect to Coldplay, but they are energy vampires. They seem capable of sucking out everything raunchy and raucous out of rock and roll only to transform it into organized poo slowly losing its scent.

The Primitives saw a fleeting ten minutes of fame with the song “Crash” in 1988. To state anything further would imply they were significant to pop music.

While listening to this mash up, one can’t help but think that if “Crash” was three minutes longer, Coldplay would eventually absorb all the rocking until there was only silence and perhaps, a stain.