In Godzilla© We Trust Or Godzilla Damn It, Where’s My Fries?

Clodzilla

The concept for Godzilla© Week arose from my need to separate my thoughts from America’s current leadership. It is virtually impossible to go 15 minutes without thinking about that orange dictator-wannabe. Being a non-Caucasian American, this putrid Putin puppet crybaby both infuriates and frightens me. Comic book version of Godzilla™ best sums it up, “Squeeonk!”

37.-Preparing-models-and-set-to-film-the-first-Godzilla-movie-1954-on-the-sets-of-Godzilla

Godzilla© rehearsing lines with acting coach, Japanese James Dean©, in preparation for the big soliloquy.

Ask anyone who was around, 1954 was a year. Like so many years before and after 1954, it was eventful. Don’t get me wrong; it was no 2018.

  • RCA® manufactures the first color TV.
  • Bill Haley & His Comets records and releases “Rock Around The Clock” setting off the big rock and roll movement, as well as the lesser known, clock dance.
  • Brown Vs. Board Of Education happens, ending segregation in public schools.
  • Seventeen months before Rosa Parks, there was a Sarah Mae Flemming occurrence.
  • The Unification Church (Moonies) is founded in South Korea.
  • Issue #0 of Viet Nam conflict begins. For those not familiar with comic book speak, these are the events that occur and set up Issue #1 of Viet Nam conflict, which is released in 1959.
  • The first mass vaccination for polio happens in Pittsburgh.
  • Ron Howard is born. In 1974, he would star as Richie Cunningham, in a popular television show about 1954 called “Happy Days”. The show would best be known for inventing the term ‘jumping the shark’.

All of this was nothing compared to the invention of Godzilla©, designed by Teizo Thoshimitsu and Akira Watanabe. Godzilla© was a parable for the danger created by stupid careless humans playing with radioactive things. It is not uncommon for parables like this to explain the downfall of mankind’s hubris. Mary Shelley warns us through her novel, “Frankenstein”, the perils of playing God when recreating life from death. Garbage Pail Kids© is merely a parable for the foibles of capitalism, a society where dog eats dog, not to be confused with communist North Korea’s society where man eats dog, and the surviving dog has to live amongst “garbage”.

In 1963, Stan Lee would introduce The Amazing Spider-man© who is bitten by a radioactive spider, which in turn would create the Marvel Universe™ now playing at a theater near you.

helpinggodzilla.0

Before the invention of fluffers for porno films, there were anti-fluffers for the easily aroused Godzilla©.

Godzilla©, or Gohira©, as it is commonly called in Japan is a combination of the words gorira (gorilla) and kujira (whale). It is a portmanteau like Play-Doh©, part plastic, part clay and doh, the secret ingredient that makes it so toxic. For over six decades, Godzilla© has entertained audiences worldwide in over 32 feature length movies. Along the way, there were crappy cartoons (Gadzooky© anyone?), inferior comic books, and fearless merchandising from toys to model kits to lighters. In 2019, expect to see Godzilla: King Of The Monsters.

A big topic of debate for Godzilla© is: what gender is it? The simple answer is It’s Pat, a 1994 flop based on the Saturday Night Live character created by Julia Sweeney. Pat, like Godzilla©, is a sexually ambiguous being that could be male or female or both. We will never be certain, nor will we truly care. There is the more than an implication that Godzilla© is male since it is king of the monsters and all. Then again, it gave birth to a son, Minilla©. Ultimately, who cares, as long as Godzilla is destroying cities at a wholesale rate, and not some middle-aged accountant, it is all good.

I would like to retract my last comment. See 1998 film, Godzilla© starring bad automobile driver, who accidentally murders two, actor (1987, look it up, in fact, Google© it), Matthew Broderick. It’s not all good.

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