Little is known (Actually, there is a wealth of information, but for my purposes, they are rendered moot.) about postmodern poet, e.e. cummings. All you need to know is: it is with the same arrogance in which cummings will not acknowledge upper case letters that he approached his slightly better than average ping pong skills. It is with this similar blindness he supported Joseph McCarthy and the Republican Party.

It was a warm summer day, well before the summers of global warming, thus a reasonable kind of warm. 1952 to be exact. To be more precise, it was June 5th. Further, it was 1:32 pm. e.e. cummings was boorishly sipping on an iced tea, which is to say it sounded like very hungry vultures going at a pool of thick blood.

This peculiar sound piqued Godzilla’s interest. It so happened that it was looking for an opponent for a friendly game of ping-pong. This was apparent by the ping-pong paddle in its hand or paw or whatever.

e.e. cummings was startled at first by the upright reptile’s appearance. He was immediately assuaged after seeing the paddle. If cummings was anything, he was a poet, a playwright, an essayist, an author, a painter, and a ping-pong enthusiast. Without saying a word, they found a table.

“Here’s the deal, my scaly opponent. No offense, but it is obvious that I am a much better player than you. After all, look at me. In order to make this an even match, I shall recite a poem while we play. May the better competitor earn the honor of victory. By the way, in your face.” cummings said.

Godzilla nodded as cummings served and recited “as freedom is a breakfastfood”. In short order, cummings destroyed Godzilla 11-1.

Someone should have warned cummings that Godzilla was a sore loser and it had fire breath.

The following is a recorded re-enactment: