The California Raisin: The ‘Dilly Dilly’ of 1986.

The stranded raisin in the sun was absolutely flabbergasted, absolutely. No one ever warned it about the dangers of melanoma. And why would they? It’s as obvious as telling someone to breathe in order to survive.

Nonetheless, a bunch of on-looking grapes watched the raisin as it cussed up a storm. It goes without saying; the grapes were very judgmental. If cruelty were measured by celebrity, they were Clooney or Oprah mean.

One grape, the plumpest one spoke freely, “You would think in this day and age, all grapes would know about the harmful effects of UV rays. Geez, the depth of stupidity is…”

It was interrupted by the raisin. Its speech was intermittent and stuttering for it was clearly on the verge of expiration, more commonly known as death.

“Your derogatory words… are without… merit…when you are a bastard… like I… you have no idea… how difficult life is… not knowing… who your father was. Be a part of the solution… quit being bitches.”

These were its final words. The grapes giggled and said in unison, “Figures.” This was followed by a gaggle of guffaws.