Make no mistake about it, there is nothing lucky about Lucky Charms®, they should be called Slow Death Charms or Gateway To Obesity Charms.

As the words left his mouth, he knew he made a dreadful mistake, the kind that fucks you up for a long time. Matthew Marsdale tried to stop himself, but the cadence was too damn catchy. His fate was inevitable.

You see, three days ago, Matthew caught a lazy leprechaun expecting a pot of gold, instead, he caught the ‘literal’ leprechaun, the rarest of the magical beings, and of course, the deadliest. This leprechaun translates what one says and actualizes it, so it sucks to be the guy who says, “May God strike me down, etc.”

But in this case, Matthew was rapt in the overly innocuous chant, “I’m rubber, you’re glue.” After the gory transformation, Matthew surely died.