Genius

Four out of five doctors feared she was a genius, and not for any particular reason, it was just a feeling, like spider-sense. Joan was fully aware of their findings. It was apparent in her pompous stride. If she had seen herself, her awkward and frequent steps, she may not have been so full of herself.

This is how much of a genius Joan was; no matter what was said to her, she coolly responded, “Yes, I already knew that.” This is how much of a genius she wasn’t; she thought genius and clairvoyant were the same word.

The following is an important part of the equation. The fifth doctor, Dr. Fermin, a well-documented expert on brain capacity was unable to attend Joan’s aptitude test for reasons unknown, thus the four out of five. If I had to guess, and I love to guess, it was a Saturday afternoon, and he was a huge college football fan. The other four doctors were whimsical when it came to measuring genius, a pediatrician, an obstetrician, an oral surgeon, and a sports specialist.

And so it was, Joan resumed her life, thinking she was a genius. She looked forward to rubbing her newfound genius in the faces of her friends that evening over a bucket of Coors Lites and box wine. Long story short, sad story true, she ended up staying home scribbling nonsense formulas on a yellow memo pad.

The following morning, she woke up thoroughly confused and profoundly empty.