The world as she knew it had turned upside-down. For the first time in her life, Claire Meacham was not going to resist, instead, she too would turn upside-down. SPOILER ALERT: Things do not go well. Her intention was not to succeed, but to prove a point. It was with this nonchalant attitude that she would audition for the Bob Fosse Revue, “Cabaret and All That Jazz, Yeah”, followed by a snap, and the yeah is whispered.

Oh my God, did she hate jazz hands. Ask around, and everyone will confirm that if she had her way, jazz hands would be abolished. What was the point of spreading your fingers as far apart as you can? How could this be good for you? How is this a natural thing? It is a blatant and pandering gesture. This is how mimes express invisible walls in front of them. Her disdain stems from her abhorrence for French cinema, which she was currently re-examining. This was such a bad idea.

During the audition, try as she might, she just could not do it. No matter how hard she tried, as she tapped with jazz hands, she could not stop her lips from mouthing razz-ma-tazz dazzle-dazzle jazz hands, two, three, four. After one stern warning from the choreographer criticizing her sarcastic jazz hands, Claire had lost all of her nerve. A side note, there is no greater sin in dancing than sarcasm, for the art of dance is pure and devoid of cynicism. It is the art form that always transcends, and never reminds man of their mere mortality. Her shoulders drooped down to her hips. As she walked off stage, she looked over her shoulder and realized this was the last time they would be together. Due to extreme tension in her hands, she developed severe arthritis that plagued her for the rest of her life. On bad days, she couldn’t grip a pen. And when it rained, forget about it.

Warning