Piss me off once, shame on you. Piss me off twice, shame on me. Piss me off a thousand times… I must be talking about current president of the United (Not really) States, Dummkopf, or Dumbhead, Donald Trump. I think it is only fair to retaliate in kind. If I can anger that asswipe-wannabe (See what I did there? I’m implying that he’s not even good enough to be an asswipe.) a fraction as much as he’s done to me, I’m good.

Trump doing what he does best: annoying an American.

As we all know, this self-proclaimed billionaire, son of K.K.K. member, greed pig who only makes decisions based on his monetary gain, ugly-children-producing, put anything the fuck he wants on his head, showering in piss, pompous Putin puppet, puffy white eyes from tanning bed goggles, tactless, constantly blindsided, divisive, fear mongering… I never realized how easy it is to insult a person who respects tyrants. Once you openly admit this, you are one. These callous idiots are devoid of compassion in the same way a coma victim is exempt of consciousness. In most cases, with the exception of A Christmas Carol, the Scrooge McDuck version, this is just one of those “it is what is” things.

In order to best get under someone’s skin, find that person’s enemy, and team up. Also, delve into the priorities of your enemy, and deteriorate it. This is a move from the Trump playbook. Look at what he has done to our priorities, decency for example, or what’s left of it: a tattered and pathetic thing.

With this logical strategy of warfare, I suggest we support the NFL. I know, I know. The National Football League is a sad dinosaur with broken, yet extremely short arms. It is on the verge of extinction with all their concussions and permanent damage to the player’s brain. Worse, they tried to hide it from the public. They too are scum. But, here is how you must approach this, I would much rather live in a world with dazed football players than one with this horrific, doddering racist. It is like how Dr. Octopus teamed up with The Green Goblin because Dr. Doom was a wicked jagoff. In the end, Spider-Man came along and kicked all their asses. Here’s hoping Robert Mueller is our Spider-Man.

Just imagine if everyone in this country who opposed the ignorant mouth hole with sandy shit on top united and watched football. The huge ratings would definitely send a message, while at the same time hitting where it hurts the most: diverting media attention away from the crybaby. Now if there was a way to get everyone to shut off their televisions when he announces his choice for the Supreme Court. It is time to shut down this reality TV show.