As the tension builds, to avoid violence and abuse, here are my apologies and excuses. As the tension builds, to avoid violence and abuse, here are my apologies and excuses.

I would like to apologize for my attack on Thompson Twins yesterday. It was unjust and cowardly. In these post-Charlottesville days, it is too easy to forget that celebrities have innocent families that have nothing to do with the artless tripe created. I would like to clarify that I have no hard feelings against their offspring, only their fucking ancestors who begat them.

While I’m doling out apologies, I’m sorry for saying that Dick “Dick” Cheney is feckless. After some research, I have discovered that he actually has some feck. What I’m most sorry about is that I really meant that Dick is a callous greedy insect who needs to be drowned in his own poop, hopefully while in an effort to gain more wealth.

While I am on the topic of shitty human beings, there’s sex-predator-enabling Jim Jordan, robotic-white toady, Mike Pence, and of course, his boss, current president of the United States, “Dank” Donald Trump. I am not sorry for one bad word spoken against that horrific reality television jackass; he deserves it all. Believe me, there will be so much more. His constant bullying rhetoric only makes me more talkative. If I am sorry for anything, it is this: Trump has a mouth hole and vocal cords.

This may be the greatest injustice this past month:

All of this transpired at Caldwell Woods Forest Preserve in northwest Chicago. Sadly, I have accepted the behavior of racists like Timothy Trybus. I can almost empathize. He is merely a lazy, spiteful, entitled (Of what, I have no idea.) old white drunk man lashing out against his apparent obsolescence in an improving integrated world.

The bigger problem is Officer Patrick Connor, who watches idly. Connor’s silence only empowers Trybus, encouraging him that racial assault is appropriate. Currently, Connor has been benched and placed on desk duty. I feel sorry for the desk. It is very obvious that Connor respects racism. This being the case, he does not deserve a job that requires him to be “not” racist. If he keeps his job, the whole Cook County Forest Preserves Department needs to be shaken and torn apart. I fear that if this incident were not being recorded, the outcome would have been disastrous.

I’m sorry that all of this has messed up my way of thinking and ultimately makes Thompson Twins seem like saints. I’m mostly sorry that we have to live in such an ignorant world.