How did the lumberjack break his ankles playing golf? He fell out of the ball wash.

Emmanuel Labor set down his axe, wiped the thick sweat from his forehead with the back of his brawny hand, and looked at all his hard work. He had just cleared one acre of forest, with many more acres to go.

He felt a swelling in his chest and assumed it was pride. It was heartburn. A hearty burp verified it.

He quit a little earlier than he would have, because he was saving his energy for a special night of love making with his beloved, Maria. Maria was his axe.

He looked at her longingly as her blade glistened on the ground. Emmanuel had always been a handle man, and Maria had the sexiest handle this side of the Mississippi.

The warm glow of the sinking orange sun must have been a fast acting aphrodisiac, for Emmanuel stepped out of his overalls and jumped all over Maria.

The next morning, Emmanuel walked like he was sitting atop an obese burro.