There’s No Business Like Business Meetings

Amtech business meeting

“Business, business, business. Profits. Third quarter. Business. Power Point. Lay offs imminent. Business. Any questions?”

Frank Statement barged into the business meeting, threw down blank sheets of college ruled paper, which scattered all over the glass table, and said, “I quit!”

CEO Rich Grieder didn’t even bother to look up to say, “This is the third time you’ve quit this week and it’s only Tuesday. Frank, if you’ve got something on your mind we should talk.”

Frank was flustered. It was evident in his feeble attempt to pick up the papers. “Since Alice passed away…”

Grieder interrupted, “Not now! Schedule an appointment with James. We’ll talk later.”

Frank tapped the papers on the desk, attempting to straighten them out. He was rewarded for his neatness with a paper cut between his thumb and index finger. The worst place for a paper cut. It never heals and it always stings. Damn it. Frank’s red face revealed embarrassment as he realized he had been talking out loud.

The board members watched out of obligation, not once choosing empathy for either side. As far as they were concerned, they were both assholes.

Frank pivoted on his back heels to turn sharply, “Very well then, I will be speaking to you shortly.” With that, Frank walked out as if the last few moments never happened. He shook his hand and banged it against his leg as if it would help the alleviate the pain.

CEO Rich Grieder looked around and sighed. “We need to put a lock on that door.”

As if on cue, the security guard, Dr. Gunga Ho burst in, throwing down pads of yellow post-it® notes on the table. “I quit!”

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