Holy Moley

hospital waiting room

Waiting in a hospital is a lot like being in jail, no one will tell you how long you’re going to be there unless you’re wealthy.

“Oh my fucking.” Raphael Scoliosis stopped himself short upon realizing where he was. Using what little logic he had left, he had deduced he was in a form of afterlife. He was in a waiting room stocked with tattered year old family magazines and one copy of People®.

He was surrounded by people with gaping holes where parts of their faces should be. He had never seen so many exposed brains before. Traditionally, he would experience nausea from all the casual gore, but he was more concerned with how he must look, especially with the way the others turn away with absolute disgust. Raphael feared the worst.


“This place is whack. Or what?” Raphael turned around to find the female voice. He acknowledged a headless woman. She continued, “Oh my God. How can you even see?”

Raphael was perplexed and his response supported it, “What do you mean?”

“How can you see when you don’t have a head?”

“I could ask you the same.”

“Oh my God. We must be speaking telepathically. This is a trip. Or what?”

Raphael instantly knew why she was shot in the head, and then he remembered. His final words before he was slain by his wife and children were, “It is what it is.” Deep down, he knew he deserved this fate.

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