I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again, chess is the Pauly Shore of good times.

Jerry Riggs took his finger off the white pawn and said, “Check.”

His opponent, Alphonso Stern, thoroughly flabbergasted, uncomfortably out of shape, retorted, “My God, man, that was your opening move.”

Jerry reexamined the chessboard, even lowering his head to get a brand new perspective. “My bad, I meant checkmate.”

Alphonso bopped himself so hard in the head, he fell backwards in his chair.