The Police and a Pop Music Daffynition

“Fuck Tha Police” by N.W.A. has nothing to do with the band, The Police. Not only is it evident in the spelling, the lyrical content supports that it’s actually about police brutality and racial profiling.

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The Police formed in London in 1977, and came out aggressively with the song “Roxanne” fusing reggae and rock(?). Roxanne was supposedly banned from the BBC because of their depiction of a woman named Roxanne, something about how controversial the name Roxanne was in that day and age. [Fact check: it was actually because of the depiction of prostitution.] [Double fact check: according to Stewart Copeland, “In fact, all that really happened was that we didn’t make their playlist, so we turned that into ‘Banned by the BBC.’”

The Police were a power trio consisting of the hard-hitting, 7-year bitch slapping drums of Stewart Copeland, the rhythmic cadence, later turning more ethereal guitar styling of Andy Summers, and Sting. I am discovering that I may be a bigger fan of power trios than I ever realized; ZZ Top, Rush, Bananarama, and the Three Stooges.

The success of The Police grew with each new album. “Message In A Bottle” led to “Don’t Stand So Close To Me”, which led to “De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da”, and then “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic”, and finally the number 1 single, “Every Breath You Take”.

MTV buddied up with the Police, and for a brief moment, they were the spokespeople of MTV, shouting and spewing, “I Want My MTV!” This would prove to be a good marketing move for The Police. For very little money in video production, they more than helped the sales of their albums, and in return, lined their pockets with that “rock and roll gold”.

Sting would go on to sing, “I want my MTV” in the Dire Straits song, “Money For Nothing”.

The Police teamed up with budding videographers/veteran rock musicians Godley & Creme of 10cc, creating the high and heavy in MTV video rotation, “Every Breath You Take”, “Wrapped Around Your Fingers”, “Synchronicity II”, and “Don’t Stand So Close To Me ’86″. Sting hooked up with Godley & Creme in 1985 on “If You Love Somebody Set Them Free.”

According to five men on a boat, 100% believed that “Don’t Stand So Close To Me ’86” was The Police’s worst song.

Like all things music and fame related, they broke up in 1986. Stewart Copeland went on to create soundtracks, Andy Summers went on to create quirky art songs/movements with Robert Fripp, and Sting went on to grow more and more pompous in the way an obese person increases in size by consuming only Cheetos.


sting-a-ling

/steeng/ə/leeng/

noun

term for one who thinks with their tantric yoga penis

synonyms: sting dong, dorkwad, Caucasian stupid P. Diddy

“That sting-a-ling, known for his constant cock-blocking and pussy conquests, was completely stymied at the Steely Dance Party Happy Fun Time Magnificence USA because of the absence of women.”

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“I went to a tantric yoga class only to find eight self-admitted soccer moms and two creepy sting-a-lings, sadness oozed through us all.”

#FuckThaPoliceSamplesFunkyDrummer, #StingPavarotti, #BetterYet

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