Why Clark Kent?


Clark Kent/Superman showing off, as usual.

Let me make this perfectly clear. Superman is a big hunk of bunk. He is a bogus piece of garbage foreigner from the planet Krypton, the worst kind. He goes around and tells everyone that will listen that the reason he adopted a secret identity was to honor his Earth parents, Ma and Pa Kent.

Let’s be real, there has got to be some ulterior motive for a being that powerful to be hiding behind a mask of mild manner. He claims that pretending to be human and blending in gives him greater insight to the human condition. Bullshit. If the Kents were half the nurturing parents he claims they were, Superman would always be Superman. There would be no time for this Clark Kent charade. The empathy, responsibility and guilt instilled in him would never allow him a moment’s rest while lives were endangered. If you think about it, wasting his powers while pretending to be a mere mortal equals at least a hundred people he could be saving.

Keep in mind this guy has an incredible fortress of solitude. It makes our man caves look like cheap post-1990 plastic Matchbox Cars®. He could just stay there happily between lifesaving gigs. Instead, he pretends to be a nebbish reporter with no trace of fashion sensibility, at the Daily Planet, a newspaper on the verge of failing to modern media. This meek Clark Kent persona has got to be a twisted game of a sociopath. What is his end game? My theory is that he is a complicated smart ass. His greatest desire is to play pranks on the lesser humans as a reward for saving their pathetic lives. If you don’t believe me, why is he the only guy who recognizes and breaks the fourth wall?

sepia george reeves winking


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