I am blown away by today’s animation. This must be the same feeling cowboys had when they first saw a car. If you stop to think about it, we are looking through the eyes of an elderly cowboy in his emphysema years. Look at the advances of televisions, computers, telephones, video games, marijuana, mascots, and shopping malls. Dial-up?

Clockwise starting from the dachshund: Paddlefoot, Clutch Cargo, Swampy, and Spinner.

This was my cartoon horse: Clutch Cargo. It debuted on March 9th, 1959. It was the first use of a process known as Synchro-vox™, where lips are old-school green screened over the mouth area. On one hand, efficient; on the other, just plain creepy looking. Even then, it was all about being cheaper and faster, sad.

The following snippet may contain offensive stereotypes of the Inuit race. 1959 was a very “special” time (back then, they called it retarded) in that, they didn’t know any better; they didn’t give a rat’s fuck.

The voice of Swampy was Hal Smith. He portrayed the beloved drunk of Mayberry, Otis Campbell, on The Andy Griffith Show.

The theme song was written and performed by the beloved jazz junkie, Paul Horn. [FACT CHECK: Nope, it was the other jazz guy.]

Clutch