The Flintstones in “The Gift Of The Magi”

Christmas Flintstones.jpg

A previous happy Christmas in Bedrock.

It was Christmas day in Bedrock. In years past, it was a festive time of hustle and bustle and cheer and joy and camaraderie, but this year, due to the Great Depression, it was forlorn. Money was scarce, except for the fat cats, The Slates ,The Rockefellers and Clay Aikens.

It was a desperate time, and in these times, the greedy revealed their true selves, by behaving atrociously. The poor revealed their true selves and did whatever it took to make ends meet. This would prove to be a disastrous combination.

As poor as The Flintstones were, the Rubbles were poorer. Barney lost his job months ago, and was waiting for an unemployment check. But tradition must always prevail between best friends and neighbors. Pride dictated that they exchange presents, for if they didn’t, the Great Depression wins. At the time, it sounded so sensible.

The Christmas moment was silent, tense and grave. Fred slumped over in his wheelchair. Wilma’s eyes were road map red lines from obvious crying. In order to get money for presents this year, Fred sold his liver on the black market. This, being the stone age, the shady doctors were not only sloppy, they were primitive. They accidentally removed Fred’s kidneys and pancreas. Wilma opened the present from the Rubbles, her hands were shaking. Inside a huge box was a small gift certificate for the Steak Of The Month Club®, the first cut being The Little Rock, Arkansas T-Bone. Fred’s lifeless eyes were unmoved, not out of spite or anything, but simply because he was six hours away from death. Wilma cried, as she handed the Rubbles their present. Fred drooled.

It was a bright red scooter for Bam Bam. Betty wailed uncontrollably as Barney wept, trying so hard to hold back his tears. It sounded like he was laughing, but in context of the situation, he was definitely crying. He blubbered, “Aw gee, Wilma, we had to sell Bam Bam to get you a present.” Barney died ten hours later from acute heartbreak.


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