In a world, where the fear of death and dying is prevalent, there is a beckoning for a group of heroes to rise above the fray and battle the despicable limits of mortality. It took the greatest minds, the oiliest lawyers, and the most persistent advertisers to fill the void. The Coalition Of Pharmaceuticals™ were thusly born.
The Coalition™ began small with Allegra®, Claritin®, Cialis®,Viagra®, Lipitor®, and Zyban®. As science advanced, and after the necessary approval of the FDA, more members would be added to the ranks. This would lead to the induction of Humira®, fighter against arthritis pain. Chantix®, who would replace Zyban®, reducer of the urge for nicotine. Latuda®, opponent of the evil schizophrenia. Crestor®, treater of high cholesterol. Xarelto®, defender against blood clots. Lyrica®, the salve against nerve and muscle pain. Eliquis®, eradicator of Afib and risk of stroke. Trulicity®, agent against type 2 diabetes. Otezla®, guardian of psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis. And finally, Tresiba®, the true enemy of diabetes. Together, they band in their never-ending fight against aching muscles, ailments, premature aging, and death.
But today, instead of medicating, The Coalition™ was legislating.
Allegra® and Claritin® chaired the monthly meeting. The two spoke in perfect unison creating one harmonic tone. “We regret to inform you that due to our redundancy clause…” They paused dramatically.
The effect was successful. To which, Cialis®, Viagra®, Crestor®, Lipitor®, Otezla®, Stelara® and Humira® gulped audibly, shamed by their identical powers.
Trulicity® and Tresiba® looked to another and decided to join the chorus of gulps.