Time And Time Again


Unless you want to be an ostracized anomaly, wormholes should be avoided at all cost.

Patty Duke was so angry. She was beside herself, both literally and figuratively. She made the grave error of time traveling to the future and meeting her future self. If there should ever be an amended Ten Commandments, the eleventh would most certainly be: Thou shalt avoid oneself whilst time traveling.

Both Pattys stared at each other, slack-jawed. The younger Patty, the one from the past, blurted, “I tried to pick the one place I could never see myself, yet here you are, I mean, I am. You know.”

Old Patty nodded looking at her previous self, judging, I can’t believe I was once this stupid, yet said, “Things change, in fact, in the words of Exposé, seasons change.”

Young Patty concurred and cursed herself that decades later, she would still be quoting Exposé.

In 1987, American pop-r&b girl group, Exposé released the hit song “Seasons Change”. They would go on to make two non-consequential albums never to be heard from again.

Young Patty paced back and forth, “I think it’s time to address the elephant in the room.”

Old Patty cackled, “I know, right? A couple of years ago, I realized that I was wrong. All zoos are not inhumane, just the people who run them.”

“Wow, when you say it like that… I’m an utter moron.” A halo formed above young Patty’s head upon this realization.

“Indeed, we were, well, you were or will be. You know.” Old Patty paused staring at the poo falling gently out of the elephant’s asshole, “So what form of idiocy brings you to the future?”

Just as young Patty was about to answer, she faded out of existence and found herself back in her original time line. She had the worst pounding headache ever as she muttered, “I hate time travel.”

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