Envy On Your Breath


King Louie of “Jungle Book” was originally a role for Louis Armstrong, but due to fear of blacklash, the role was given to the white Louie Prima.

Louis Featherbottom Jr. had legs for arms, and arms for legs, thus, feet for hands, and hands for feet. In short, he did not look correct. Despite this disposition, he walked with his head held high. When he walked, it was with the lope of a happy-go-lucky orangutan. This too, did not look correct.

Just when you think you should feel sorry for Louis, you’d realize that you were ‘the’ shortsighted dipshit, for you are only half the spirit Louis is. He is the embodiment of true strength. You are nothing; he is the unicorn cascading gracefully down a rainbow. He actually cares more about you than you could ever care for him.

He gladly high-fives anyone who needs one; while you cower alone in a cheap throne in some ivory tower, judging people. Shame on you. He is the Jesus Christ to your reenactment of NBC’s “This Is Us.”

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