The Return Of The Great Flood

In the very near future, everyone will agree that global warming will defeat and devastate mankind. Even the stubborn Republicans, who will fully admit that they knew it all along, but were merely playing devil’s advocate to force the science community to work harder, will demand a change.

After a full-blown global accordance, all the meteorologists will inform the unprepared world that there will be 40 nights, as well as 40 days of constant rain. All the mathematicians will confirm that Earth will be immersed underwater in less than ten days, what with the melting polar caps. All the dreamers will devise hovercraft bubbles to insure their survival of the impending flooding. SPOILER ALERT: Ain’t gonna happen.

All the religious zealots, in the meantime, will beckon for a new Noah to step forward. In fact, they will label him or her as Noah 2.0. After a worldwide manhunt for a savior, they will settle for Norah. Norah Jones to be precise. They will commission her to write a song to console a trouble world. And console, she will do, as the tenth day of rain drowns or burns billions of people, they will all die with a faint smile on their face.

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