The Return Of The Great Flood

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In the very near future, everyone will agree that global warming will defeat and devastate mankind. Even the stubborn Republicans, who will fully admit that they knew it all along, but were merely playing devil’s advocate to force the science community to work harder, will demand a change.

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The 40th Day

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It was the fortieth day of the Great Flood, and the ark was seriously a-rockin’ so hard, no one would’ve, nor could’ve heard the knockin’ from the pair of complaining gripes. [FACT CHECK: Gripes were medium-sized birds known for their shrill shriek.] [SPOILER ALERT: Gripes are extinct.] The gripes were incapable of performing the act of reproduction with all that noise. It was a cavalcade of grunting, fornicating, and sweaty bow-chicka-bow-wow music.

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