Had I known this toy of tomfoolery could cause immediate eye cancer, I would probably be in prison.

There was a time before the Pope took a shit in the woods, beside a patient overly under-rated bear. It was a time when it was a mandatory skill set to know your history, as well as memorizing the National Anthem, that “Star Spangled Whatever” tune. It was a time when every American government official, especially the president knew these important facts. The accumulation of all this was what made you a proud American. At the risk of coming off an inane fuck stick, I must ask, what were we so proud of?

If this country were measured in football stats with wins and losses of wars since World War II, America is winless with a lot of ongoing wars in quadruple overtime, which just goes to prove, wars need to be shorter. [This is also a backhanded message to Quentin Tarantino: you pay for editors, use them!] Basically, America has become Cleveland Browns fans up to September 20, 2018, pathetic optimists and not so smart.

If wars were televised, those television geniuses could figure it all out, tighten the pacing, interesting camera angles, as well as getting advertising revenue. This has the potential of being the biggest reality show ever.

All this has merely been a pre-ramble to the heart of the matter. Bill Cosby is finally going to prison for his heinous celebrity acts of privilege. I can’t help but feel guilty. He was the dad I always wanted, the tennis pro/spy, basketball coach, pediatrician, ghost dad. He was funny and educational. He created “Fat Albert”.

“This is Bill Cosby coming out with music and fun.
If you’re not careful, you may learn something before it’s done!”

Ridiculous, but true; as a child, I thought Hitler’s mustache was cool, until I discovered who he really was: Chaplin’s evil twin brother!

MORAL: Lack of information leads you down a whole lot of regret. To paraphrase NBC®, “The more you know.”