Gangs of kittens have successfully taken over retirement homes more times than you would think.

Out of his extraordinary peripheral vision, Simon Bagley, no relation to Jim, glimpsed a grey kitten peeking out of the shrubs. Upon closer inspection, he had discovered a litter of four and a half kittens (Maybe a third. It’s hard to tell without knowing the original mass.) They were mewling madly. Being a genuine “cat” person, he was terrified, for he knew the mother must be nearby and hell hath no fury like a mother cat.

His instinct was correct. The mother appeared as a hiss, followed by a thrusting leap towards him. Simon intuitively ducked, and the cat flew over his head, landing directly in the path of an oncoming mid-sized car. If the driver had not been texting, she could have stopped in time. Instead there was an unsettling thunk. The impact tossed the cat beside a garbage can.

Simon returned to the site of the litter. They were gone. Even the one-third to one-half kitten.

Simon looked around and his eyes widened as his jaw dropped wide, as if about to unhinge. The kittens were smothering their mother’s mangled corpse. After twenty seconds, it was very apparent they were eating her. Simon threw up in his mouth before running to the nearest fall out shelter.