Aquaman has a brief moment of peace before enduring horrible cinema.

Aquaman turned off the TV by throwing the remote control at it, shattering it all over the place. He had just seen the worst movie ever. Bohemian Rhapsody. It is mind blowing that within this insipid dreck of cinema, Rami Malek found room to portray Freddie Mercury respectfully. One could almost believe that Freddie Mercury was capable of saying such contrived idiocy.

Aquaman sighed loudly. It almost sounded like a slow sneeze. He fully understood his agent’s words now. He will never be recognized by The Academy Awards; not enough homosexuality or racial diversity, and too much water. Furthermore, if this is the sort of tripe that wins Oscars, he does not want to be a member.

Have the Earth dwellers become so stupid that they revere such nothingness? Has Entertainment Weekly become their new Holy Bible?

Aquaman sank further into his throne, brooding. Apparently, this is only natural in a society that is ridiculously politically correct. You start tossing accolades at mediocrity in order to say, hey, we are pro-LBGQT, see?

Aquaman stood and stretched, looking over the defeated television parts strewn all over the place. He had an epiphany as to why Bohemian Rhapsody was so terrible. Alas, there was just not enough good old-fashioned sex.