Lost In Time

time travel

This is exactly what time travel looks like.

I have been drifting through time of late, and it is unsettling. What I did minutes ago seems like weeks ago, and what I just did hasn’t happened yet. It’s enough to drive one mad. This is what happens when you reach a time coordinate in which you did not exist. There are many rules to time travel, follow them or die.

Most profound is the effect of eating an early brunch. The time-space continuum goes to complete shit and all those calories go straight to your ass.

When-ever you travel, make sure to bring hard cold cash. There is a reason for the expression, “cash is king.” Always make sure to not use future currency. It is considered counterfeit and that is a federal offense.

Always use a time anchor. Mine is how Superman looks in comic books, for example, if he looks idiotic, it’s the 1990s. [SPOILER ALERT: In the very near future, Superman is nude and has the ‘S’ symbol tattooed on his chest, finally answering the question: yes, he is circumcised.]

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