Forget about the insidious meaning of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”! The real controversial song is “White Christmas”! Until “Jingle Bells” becomes politically incorrect for horse abuse, here’s a mash up.
You heard it here first. I’ve never claimed to be Nostradamus, nor will I ever, but let me warn you about the most dangerous job in the year 2051, November 18th, to be precise. Whatever you do, don’t be the quarterback for the Washington Redskins! Don’t believe me? Ask Joe Theismann (1985) and Alex Smith (2018)! And while you’re asking them, do not mention anything about breaking a leg.
And now a Christmas mash up.
In the fictional city of Durban, the number one rule is: don’t talk about racism. Just kidding, Durban was a real place in South Africa.
“The fog moved in quickly,” she gesticulated wildly with rigid intense jazz hands. This was not the only indication that she was insane, for her eyes were as rabid as her overly unkempt hair full of incidental dreadlocks and foreign nits, as well as the miscellaneous fur of at least seventeen cats, eighteen if you count Boris The Hairless Cat. More revealing were her words, miscalculated gibberish or a random rant, it mattered not. She had the floor now, and she was about to abuse her powers as a seldom-tax-paying citizen.
We are two to three weeks away from Christmas, and it’s time to remember what it really means in the 21st century. Christians winning.
The sound of a switchblade and a motorbike.
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