
If Green Eggs And Ham was an improv sketch:
I am Sam. I am Sam. Sam I am. Do you like green eggs and ham?
I do, yes, and I am obese.
And now a mash up.

If Green Eggs And Ham was an improv sketch:
I am Sam. I am Sam. Sam I am. Do you like green eggs and ham?
I do, yes, and I am obese.
And now a mash up.

“Two things. One, you need to back the fuck off right now, and two, here’s your damn turn signal.” With this, Sluggy McSluggerson punched Beepy Von Beeperton in the face.

He closed his eyes, grabbed the mic stand, dipping it, and crooned into the mic, his deep baritone boomed, “I’m not your mother, son. I’m just a cumberbund.” He wanted to stop, but as the adage goes, the show must go on, if’n you want to get paid. Fifteen years ago, he wrote this song on a dare, and it went on to become a huge hit. He still had payments on his second Mercedes, the ex-wife, not the car, so he continued to sing. The part of the crowd who cared, cheered as if their lives depended on it. The other 97% went on with their lives, staring dumbly at their phones.

“Half of me wants to punch you in your smug face.”
“Oh yeah? What does the other half of you want to do?”
“Uh, uh… not punch you?”
The sound of a switchblade and a motorbike.
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