“Two things. One, you need to back the fuck off right now, and two, here’s your damn turn signal.” With this, Sluggy McSluggerson punched Beepy Von Beeperton in the face.
“I Put A Torn Spell On You” by NATALIE IMBRUGLIA Vs. ANNIE LENNOX
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“Bizarre Love Triangle In Havana” by CAMILA CABELLO Vs. NEW ORDER
He closed his eyes, grabbed the mic stand, dipping it, and crooned into the mic, his deep baritone boomed, “I’m not your mother, son. I’m just a cumberbund.” He wanted to stop, but as the adage goes, the show must go on, if’n you want to get paid. Fifteen years ago, he wrote this song on a dare, and it went on to become a huge hit. He still had payments on his second Mercedes, the ex-wife, not the car, so he continued to sing. The part of the crowd who cared, cheered as if their lives depended on it. The other 97% went on with their lives, staring dumbly at their phones.
“Burning Down The En Focus House” by TALKING HEADS Vs. DE LA SOUL
“Half of me wants to punch you in your smug face.”
“Oh yeah? What does the other half of you want to do?”
“Uh, uh… not punch you?”
“Do It Again Havana” by STEELY DAN Vs. CAMILA CABELLO
Today’s mash up is literally translated, a steam-powered dildo from “Naked Lunch” and a servant of the temple’s hair. Go and figure.
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