Forget about the insidious meaning of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”! The real controversial song is “White Christmas”! Until “Jingle Bells” becomes politically incorrect for horse abuse, here’s a mash up.
You heard it here first. I’ve never claimed to be Nostradamus, nor will I ever, but let me warn you about the most dangerous job in the year 2051, November 18th, to be precise. Whatever you do, don’t be the quarterback for the Washington Redskins! Don’t believe me? Ask Joe Theismann (1985) and Alex Smith (2018)! And while you’re asking them, do not mention anything about breaking a leg.
And now a Christmas mash up.
We are two to three weeks away from Christmas, and it’s time to remember what it really means in the 21st century. Christians winning.
SPOILER ALERT: The true nightmare before Christmas is the social anxiety caused by the pressure of having a “merry” Christmas. It’s time to take a chill pill and finish up the rest of that damn Halloween candy.
He was rudely awoken by a girl screaming right into his face. “Daddy, it’s Christmas!” Dan Rabinowitz could barely open his crusted eyes. As is implied by his name, some people called him Danny. Right now, right here, he was pissed off for countless reasons. For starters, it was 8 AM on a Saturday morning in the middle of July. It was hot; the sweaty gross bed sheets clinging to him like aggressive static hot. To say he was hungover would only be half a truth, for technically, he might still be legally inebriated from mere hours before. Lastly, he was a confirmed bachelor, who did not celebrate Christmas. So it made perfect sense that his main thought was what the fuck?
The sound of a switchblade and a motorbike.
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